i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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