Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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