why didn't you poke me back
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
