wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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