Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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