I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
