So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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