Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Two words: nipple clamps
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