The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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