when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
