Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
