I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
