It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
