I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
