I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
