You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
