Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
