Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
