I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
