theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
