I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
