There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
