i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
