Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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