Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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