That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
