I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
