Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm passing your future prison.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
