My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
