the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
