Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
