just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
