4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
