I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
COCAINE IS GR8
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
