woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
