The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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