Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
40s are totally the cure
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
