no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
