Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
