i can't believe i had my finger in that
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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