He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
