i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
