I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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