he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
