i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We had to coat check the pizza.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
