Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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