you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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