I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I fill condoms, not promises.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
