my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
