"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
