I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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