Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
