He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
