just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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