You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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