How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
